The little birds...

If you watch little birds you will see they are busy and happy! Using whatever they can find they create the most gorgeous little nest.
I would be the little bird with some glittery thread in her nest!
We can be like this. Happily working away with the things that are available to us to create a beautiful and happy home.
All the while with a little song in our heart.

Banner by Free Pretty Things for You.

Friday, 15 August 2014

Good guys.

I have an online friend who pointed out that men get it hard in many ways. Because of the bad in the world we hear a lot about crimes and violence and bad things and not so much do you hear about the good guys. She painted a lovely picture for me when she said good guys, like men driving garbage trucks and fire engines, who wave back to the little kids waving enthusiastically at them as they go past. Yep, that is sweet! 

And lately I have heard so much about bad guys and bad marriages. Very sad and distressing stories. And indeed many of us have had men in our lives that are sadly lacking... or worse.

But hopefully many of us have good men in our lives who have shown us what a good guy looks like. My Pa was a wonderful, gentle, kind and hardworking man. As a kid he would swing me over the waves at the beach and seemingly never tire of it. Every Christmas "Father Christmas" repainted the swing set either gold or silver which I thought was so miraculous and wonderful.

My own Dad who I still have is the real deal. The Dad who read me endless stories as a child and would do anything for his family. I can't even start talking about it without feeling as if I will cry, for gratitude to have him.

My husband is the real deal. Andy and I met when we were 15 and he was my first boyfriend. It was one of those things, he looked at me and I looked at him and that was it! When we were sixteen we decided we would be getting married and we were working out where we might live.

We were together for a year or so only and life and circumstances changed and my family moved three hours away. Breaking up with Andy was one of life's early terrible experiences. I cried so much for three days that Mum took me to the local Priest. And we had a song. And my whole life if I heard that song it stopped me in my tracks like my legs didn't work. Once in a store that song came on and I had stopped dead and felt paralysed and that must have been fifteen years later.

We both married and had kids. And once he reached out to me and once I reached out to him but both times these were misses not hits. But I look back now when he reached out to me and it was ONE WEEK before his marriage. And I didn't understand what that meant then. 

The time I reached out to him he didn't realise it was me... I sent something to his daughter after his wife had died... and he didn't know it was me...

After I was divorced I was utterly miserable and I still wore my wedding ring and jewellery one year later. One day I woke up and thought it's time I didn't wear my rings anymore, like WHY was I wearing them? So I took them off and I remember clearly saying a prayer that was like "Ok God now I am ready for what ever you have in mind" and set myself free, at last. And I felt different. I felt happy and free. (why hadn't I done this before!)

That evening when I got home from work I had an message on FB from a stranger. Lucy who thought I had no life joined me up to Facebook a few weeks before. THis lady said her name was Ruth and she was secretary to Andy and that she had been hearing about me for eight years and was pretty much sick of it. Would I like to hear from Andy as she had found me and was basically giving him the push to stop talking about me and contact me!

What a surprise! You know I would have said no to anyone else. But I said yes I would like to hear from him. And after Andy got over the shock of what Ruth had done the next day he wrote to me. This email was a "what I have been doing for the last thirty years" email as thats how long it had been!

He was in the country and this started us emailing everyday for three months until we finally re met. And that was it. We were engaged in another three months and married in a year.

From day one Andy established he wasn't letting me go this time. I found out what it is like to be cherished, looked after, protected and loved. 

Now a few years in we are settled in to life together and it is kind of like we were always together. It proves life gives you a second chance and that you just never know what will happen! Who knew!? 

I always wanted a man who would walk through fire for me, take a bullet, that kind of thing. lol I don't want much! But he is that and more. 

My favourite Bible verse about marriage isn't particularly romantic really but I still love it. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12New International Version (NIV)

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

This is so true. Working as a team you can achieve so much more than you could alone. And looking after and protecting each other you are, well, safer and more looked after than you could be alone.

Saying that I am a person who CAN be alone. I was single the entire time I brought the girls up. I like being alone. And we are better alone than with an abusive partner that is for sure!

But when you find a good man who loves God and loves you, then two are better than one.

My husband had a bad week this week. Because he is kind hearted he feels things and the people he prays most for are often the people who are hurtful to him. Go figure. It got me thinking about how much I appreciate him and how really our own lives and home life is so important that it is strong and a happy place.  

I often talk about building up our homes. It would be remiss of me not to talk about looking after our husbands and appreciating them and building up our relationships. And life can be so busy. Andy works full time plus more and just finished building me a new kitchen in between. He didn't get any free time or time off in months to do this.

If you are lucky enough to have a good guy you have been blessed. My favourite verse on that...

Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.

So many men work so hard and for no appreciation. At all. There are a lot of pressures on us all. But if we support each other and work together it is so much better. 

I really love my husband and am grateful for him. He is the best guy and I am really lucky. We need to be their number one fans and they need to know that. Inside a tough exterior is a soft and good heart. 


  1. What a lovely post, Annabel. You certainly sound like you have found a gem of a man in your Andy and it is a bit of a shame that you weren't able to marry him when you were younger but everything happens for a reason and I am pleased that now you are able to enjoy the future together.

    1. Thank you Nanna Chel. I am sometimes sad about the years apart but then we both really appreciate life now, after the things we both have been through. A few lessons learned along the way!
      I want everyone to know there are good guys out there. I had given up and life took me full circle! xxx

  2. LOVE this post! It is so awful to see/hear women tear down their husbands and unfortunately very common place, even within the church. My husband is my Hero!
    So happy for you and Andy. God bless you both.

    1. Marybeth hearing your husband is your hero is just wonderful. Thinking about little kids and teenagers who think their Dad is their hero is just gorgeous too and as it should be. Being able to rely on our husbands is a big thing, I am so grateful for that. I am so glad for you that you have a wonderful

  3. What a wonderful life affirming post Annabel. My husband is my hero too and I tell him that, often. It seems trendy in some circles to disrespect your life partner, and it just saddens me. Andy sounds like he's worth his weight in gold, as are you. What a lovely couple you

    1. Thanks Mimi. We both had to go through quite a bit to get here and I think that makes us appreciate all that is good. One of the saddest things is when good guys who work really hard and try everything to do the right thing and provide... and it is never enough. There is a lot of that too, along with as you say the way people talk about each other. I am glad your husband knows he is your hero! That is so

  4. What a beautiful post Annabel. I just love your blog. I have commented a few times and am currently making your crochet blanket! Nothing like crocheting, having a hot milo, watching Anzac Girls with my husband. I, like you, am so blessed to be married. My husband has had it tough (in currently in remission) and I just admire him and love him so much. We never take a day for granted. Life is too precious, each day is a joy, even if it is just car pooling together to work, or a shared coffee in the mornings.

    1. What a beautiful comment Bridget, thank you. I am so happy you have a good loving husband. I would love to see your crochet blanket when you have finished! I so enjoyed making mine and am pretty sure I will do another one next winter. It sounds like you have both been through a bit... I am sorry to hear that but it sounds as if you are now appreciating everything and are so happy. Thank you for sharing this. And thank you for such kind comments. xxx

  5. That is just beautiful Annabel.........and thank you for writing it. I have lots of good guys in my family and friends. I must tell them more often.

    Bless you and Andy. What a gorgeous couple you are.

    1. Thank you Mary. Yes tell those guys what you think and feel as they would probably do anything for you and what a blessing to have them!
      Thank you for such a lovely comment. It has been good for me to think about how lucky I am. It can be easy to take people for granted... and I dont want to do that, but it happens. On tv tonight three boys sand "you were always on my mind" the words of that cracked me up as it is about not having told someone how much you love and appreciate them and missing the chance! So that is my mission and I am going to visit my Dad this week so it applies there too as gosh Ive been blessed with a good Dad. How lucky I have been. xxx

  6. What a lovely post!
    I was 17 when I told my mother that I knew who I would marry and that he was wonderful. My mother was less than enthusiastic about the decisions made by a 17 year old girl. LOL! But you know what? After dating for 3 years, I was more sure than ever and we were married. That was 46 years ago and he is still wonderful!

  7. That is beautiful Florence! That is a true love story.And congratulations on being married 46 years. I hope you have many many more wonderful years together! xx

  8. wow, I cried. a beautiful story. thank you for sharing.

  9. Beautiful story Annabel and you and Andy look great. I've a good husband too. He remodeled our kitchen after coming home late from work each night and he worked on it on weekends too. He did everything, demo, plumbing, painting, electric, flooring and cabinet installation. He is super handy and has saved us so much money over the years because of all the things he can do.

    1. Dear Joy, I am so glad you are also married to a good guy! And he is a hard worker as well. Thank you fro telling me this. There are good guys around. My daughter is looking for one and I pray she finds one.
      With love


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